Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Korean Dramas

My Aunty Rurichan is a big fan of Korean dramas. Big. I mean huge. So much so that she bought an entire shelf of Korean dramas from a video store and gave it to her son's in-laws before realizing that they weren't actually Korean dramas, but Korean porn. Whether or not you're a fan, you'll probably enjoy the following...

50 Things You Can Learn from a Korean Drama

1) Hot, rich, younger men love fat, older vulgar women.

2) If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.

3) You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And you’ll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you “playfully” but the force of his push will have you flying across the r
oom. But it’s okay. Cuz you’re still laughing like a crazy person.

4) Brothers/cousin/uncles-nephews will always love the same girl.

5) You’re allowed to make u-turns wherever you want in Korea. And there is never traffic on the side you want to u-turn to.

6) There is a super quick payment device that allows you to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.

7) Everyone has cancer.

8) If you’re sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel lots better.

9) There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.

10) Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely part of a normal night’s event.

11) Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it every
day all the time, especially the poor people.

12) If you’re rich, you’re a jerk.

13) If you’re poor, you’re an angel.

14) Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.

15) You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a no

16) If you have a nosebleed, you most definitely have cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save your life. And your liver is missing. We’re not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.

17) If you work in a sool jeep (drinking place), you have massively curly hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90’s.

18) You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.

19) You will always call your boyfriend by his job title. Or simply sunbaenim. Never his name. Never. He doesn’t have one.

20) If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane people. Just frozen….

21) You go to America you come back miraculously successful. You go to England you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.

22) And if you come back with no apparent reason then it’s because you have cancer.

23) Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.

24) If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes, you’ll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking an ambulance or driving they’ll race you on their back.

25) Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.

26) If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.

27) If you’re saving someone from being hit from a car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead.

28) Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin. Usually one they didn’t know about.

29) If you don’t want to answer your phone, you can’t just turn it off. The battery
needs to be taken out.

30) All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play piano. Usually all at the same time. And at the same restaurant that has a piano that they let anyone use.

31) If you’re in a relationship, you must at one point leave and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser). 60% of the time you see each other, the other 40% you’re roaming around in circles and pass each other about six times, but miraculously never see them.

32) If you’re getting off a plane, you’re ALWAYS wearing sunglasses. ALWAYS.

33) All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if all they’re doing is jump-roping.

34) Girls will always storm off because they’re mad and the guy will stoically grab them by the arm and swing them back- and by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.

35) Guys always look like they’re 6 feet tall, even if they’re only 5′10. Thank you camera angles.

36) Guys like to wear foundation, eyeliner and sometimes a smudge of lipliner.

37) You always get stuck in an elevator with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Even if there are six different elevators, you’ll always be stuck in the same one with that bastard you hate (or just fought with).

38) Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.

39) So will your sister-in-law.

40) Your brother-in-law might be pining away for you.

41) There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut, and just press away for a very long and uncomfortable time. OR you devour the other person and suck out their soul. In both instances, the world spins.

42) A guy will always get the right size ring, even if you’re never held hands.

43) People stare off into space and ponder a lot. They’ll just stop in the middle of the road and watch a leaf on a tree for a good three minutes, and just ponder.

44) You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.

45) You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.

46) Hell- you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.

47) If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.

48) One Korean man can kick the butts of 6 gangstas. Especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by one. Then when each of them get their butts OWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they’ve found to fight in. There will be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Cuz the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few face scars. But never a black eye.

49) It ain’t a real fight unless the gangstas fight dirty with a stick or switchblade.

50) If you study in the states (perferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE of the TV can’t understand a single word uttered out of your melodramatic mouth is beyond me.

Bae Yong Joon
(Aunty Rurican is a proud member of his official fan club)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Fine. I'll vote for Barack.

Yesterday in class the conversation turned to politics. It started with three girls announcing they were Republicans and ended with this...
"In my opinion, the reason why gas prices are so high is because we need to start giving more money to the gas companies like Exxon-Mobil and BP so that they can afford to turn to alternative forms of energy in the future. Obviously it will take a lot of money to change our dependence on oil and they don't want to lay off any workers, so they're hiking up the prices to plan for the future... I have a feeling the government knows what they're doing. And it's not important to me to know everything that's going on. I say, 'Do whatever you guys need to do, just make sure you keep the crazy people from blowing up my plane.' "
Fine. You win, America. I will do anything to make sure my vote will cancel the girl who said that.

Who I'm voting for

Who I wish I was voting for

If McCain is voted president I will have to leave the country. But where on earth could I go where the dirty hands of this country can't reach?

Me in Cuba

Me in North Korea

Monday, April 7, 2008


My sister is the most important person in my life. Unfortunately she drives me absolutely insane a good 95% of the time. She can be very loud, talkative, friendly, colorful, emotional, girly, masculine, easy-going, bossy, selfish, generous, and often manages to do it all at once. If she had the ability to decorate her room however she wanted (my mother, a very wise woman, has so far forbidden her to do so) I think it would look something like these rooms...

If she had all the space in the world

If she had all the money in the world (and she sometimes acts like she does)

If she had all the stuff in the world

She's also a bit of a clutter freak - she thrives on clutter
If you haven't guessed yet, she really likes the color pink. But she wouldn't say "No" to these rooms either...

Saturday, April 5, 2008


One thing I'm looking forward to after I graduate is being able to decorate a place of my own. Living with other girls makes it difficult to decorate in a style that you think looks good, while they would prefer something closer to the Madonna Inn. Therefore the only piece of decor in our apartment is a framed Arrested Development poster above the faux fireplace. I'm not complaining.

I found this Indonesian opium daybed on craigslist and I'm obsessed.

I think it looks absolutely amazing. I would make one large white cushion/mattress to replace the two red and orange cushions and it could double as a bed for overnight guests. It reminds me so much of Lien's bed in The Vertical Ray of the Sun. The problem is: It's selling for $1,000. Not sure if I could convince Sachin to make it an early graduation gift.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Priorities and Resolution of the Month

Recent events regarding the people around me have made me really look at where my priorities lie, so I thought this would be a good place to write things out...

My Priorities Are...
1. Being a good big sister to my younger sister.
2. Being a decent daughter and granddaughter to my parents and grandparents.
3. Doing well in school.
4. Being kind, helpful, and always entertaining to Sachin.
5. Being a good coordinator for the Campus Tours Program.
6. Being there for my friends.
7. Being an well-educated citizen of the world.
8. Writing more diligently in this blog.
9. Become killer at Rock Band.
10. Grilled Cheese.

That was pretty cheesy. And rather narcissistic. I apologize.

So here is...
This Month's Resolution

Drink more water!

My skin has been looking horrendous, my hair is always dry, and there have been days when I did not even drink a single sip of water. It's healthy! Join me, won't you?

As an update on last month's resolution; it was awful! Within a week I realized it would be impossible to carry out. One cannot even go grocery shopping without using a plastic bag, jar, or bottle. Even buying milk was a dilemma unto itself!